Using Your Mind To Make Others Use Their Backs
First of all, I would like my readers to know that I am in fact still alive and in search of world domination. Despite the fact many of you may think I am some comedy writer, I am in fact engaged in an activity which will change the world - putting it firmly in my grasp! As you can imagine, it is very time consuming. Now that you know I'm still here, on to the article...
Necessary Evils
America is such a fickle place. Stupid consumers took out loans they could never hope to afford, with all kinds of complex conditions they didn't bother to read, and then they gripe about the economy. Banks and lenders sell the loans under false pretenses out of pure, unadulterated greed, cry about needing a bailout and then go right back to spending lavishly on their employees. But floating right under the surface of this is something profoundly optimistic: the promise of a new start.
Jealousy: The Swift Killer
Of all the emotions in the human palette, the single most harmful is jealousy. Lives get taken over it, great leaders have lost their empires because of it and quite frankly you're a fool if you allow it to take hold anywhere in your life. When people see things they don't have yet, or someone who has excelled at something they don't understand or have previously failed in, the first thing that comes to mind is the deadly green monster. As an evil genius bent on world domination, you must make sure that as you progress on your journey, you don't flaunt your success in the face of lesser people. Even if they have no previous ambition, it will strike a fire within even the weakest men to make your down fall their single mission in life.
World Domination, Chapter 3: Mind Control
Throughout history, people from otherwise humble backgrounds have risen from the dregs of society to become leaders of entire countries - all because they understood how to captivate minds and then seize control of them. You must be able to conquer the minds of potential followers before you can ever hope to conquer the lands of your enemies. This all starts with effective crowd control and public speaking skills.
A common misconception is that your words are the most important piece of communication. But think about it: when someone speaks to you without emotion in a monotone voice, even if they were telling you that they want to put a million dollars in your pocket you would be slow to believe them. It is a fact that it is not what you say, but how you say it. By using the proper volume, rhythm and emotionally-charged topics you can send any crowd into a frenzy and gain countless followers.
Run A Rogue Government From An Island
At some point in your evil genius career, you'll need to put your flag down on a piece of land and declare it as your own. However, for the truly dedicated, a simple property will not suffice - you will need an island. From this island you can gather your minion horde in one place, conduct twisted experiments and plot your domination from a classic lair setting. It is also the prime location to run a rogue government, which of course you will be using to put your plan of conquest into action. Although I'm sure some of you think it would suffice to just buy a gigantic mansion in a secluded area somewhere in your home country, I will vaporize you if you speak so insolently around me.
You will, of course, have to have some money under your belt already if you are to do this, but planning is a crucial piece of successful domination. There are many options available for the discerning island buyer, and thanks to the miracle of the internet we can dissect these options much like an enemy who has wronged us. In this guide, I will provide you with the best tips for finding a prime island, and the steps you will need to take to transform it into a base of operations for your new Utopian government.
